MANDATORY TO VOLUNTARY
FINALLY, EFFECTIVE MIDDLE-CLASS MAJORITY STEWARDSHIP
BEGIN HERE. THEN REVIEW THE HOMEPAGE, NUCLEAR OPTION PAGE, RÉSUMÉ TO SERVE, LOTTERY, HOMELESSNESS...PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS. THIS NOT BUSINESS AS USUAL.
OREGON HAS A NEW HEARTBEAT!
THE GIVING STATE
THE GIVING GOVERNOR
The NUCLEAR OPTION page details my Kodel Crowdsourcing Initiative and lists the Top 10 Reservoirs funded by robust, nay, high-velocity thunderous income streams via Resource Engineering.
BASICALLY, THE PARADIGM SHIFT I'M MAKING AS GOVERNOR IS FROM MANDATORY TAXATION TO A VOLUNTARY SEDUCTION.
FROM THERE, BOUNCE ABOUT FREELY.
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE 4 Governor
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE 4 Governor
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE 4 Governor
#Keynote #Listener
Let's [Govern-OR] Together.
Campaign HQ
KodelEmpire.com
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
Dark Horse Candidate for Governor
#Unbridled #Unbought #Unbroken
Retired Mustang
(Captain/USAF)
Oregon Native Son (Ashland)
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
#Resource #Engineering
#Flagship TOP Priorities
1. HOMELESSNESS CRISIS SOLVED. #GUARANTEED
By Executive Order, I will Reclaim our Parks, our Neighborhoods, and our Downtowns of our Hometowns.
1a. #Assimilation is a failed $2B+ mindset.
1b. That's your hard-earned sweat equity wasted.
1c. Oregon demands better Stewardship
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE 4 Governor
☆☆ Lend me your oval graphite ☆☆
2. END OF PROPERTY TAXES
#SENIORS FIRST, THEN ALL HOMEOWNERS.
Removing the "lien trap" for Seniors who live under stress, worry & threats of losing their homes.
2a. Improving Seniors' disposal income by $300+ per month.
2b. Next, end Oregon income tax.
3. END TAG/LICENSING FEES AT DMV; FISHING LICENSING FEES, HUNTING LICENSING FEES, DAY-USE FEES, PARKING FEES, & CAMPING FEES at OUR STATE PARKS.
3a. Oregonians deserve to recreate more w/o being nickel and dimed to death.
4. REPLACE ENHANCE REPAIR IMPROVE OREGON LOTTERY: Current Annual "Profits" reaching $1B.
● My #Kodel #Crowdsourcing initiative creates a robust, nay, thunderous, high-velocity steam engine of $10B+ in annual PROFITS, while also funding you personally by giving you RESOURCE ENGINEERING CASH 💰 YOU’RE WELCOME.
● MIDDLE-CLASS MAJORITY AGENDA (MMA) ☆ VOTE ☆
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
● KODEL CROWDSOURCING also Funds 10 Reservoirs, ending income & property taxes, State licensing fees, fundraising and the never-ending ballot levies.
● These Amazing 10 Reservoirs will improve every Oregon Community & your personal Quality of Life.
SEE HOW
I will also tap out-of-state revenue streams to fill our Reservoirs.
[SEE #NUCLEAR #OPTION PAGE]
KodelEmpire.com
As Governor, I am prepositioning Oregon's progressive nature as the #Giving #State.
Oregonians will benefit greatly.
LEARN MORE KodelEmpire.com
Thank you for the privilege of your time.
VOTE STEVE or St. Eve
VOTE STEVE or St. Eve
VOTE STEVE or St. Eve
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE 4 Governor
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE 4 Governor
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE 4 Governor
☆☆ REMEMBER TO VOTE EARLY & OFTEN! ☆☆
(I LOVE SETTING REDCOATS HAIR ON FIRE.)
Let's [Govern-OR] Together.
FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK
Steve William Laible
Stevie Tenderheart Books
OREGON HAS A NEW HEARTBEAT
"Oregon has a new heartbeat."
#Giving #Governor
#GIVING #STATE
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
☆ A ONCE IN A GENERATION CANDIDATE
#DARK #HORSE CANDIDATE FOR #GOVERNOR
#Unbridled #Unbought #Unbroken
■ TWO MOST ASKED QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS:
Q. HOW DO YOU PLAN TO PAY FOR IT?
A. "Fair question—it's solved by a #voluntary revenue model called #Resource #Engineering so we can scrap those DMV fees, fishing, hunting, day-use, parking & camping fees in our State parks."
■ Detailed 5-minute read: KodelEmpire.com
S. I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR AN MBA IN POLITICS.
A. "I hear you, and though while I don't understand your bias or why a college educated candidate trained in business management triggered you, when looking at a multi-billion dollar state budget, effectively & efficiently managing people (workforce) and resources, you maybe don't want a politician; you want a manager."
● My MBA isn't just a piece of glorified parchment—it represents dedication, integrity, sacrifice, drive and honor; it’s the training I used to manage complex, multi-million-dollar military budgets & systems, Civil Engineering, aerospace, and operational fighter squadron flying operations in the US & overseas for 22 years.
● Moreover, I'm not an elitist. I was born in Ashland. When I was 3, my family moved, but I found them again. 😉 I spent my formative years in Coos Bay, Oregon as a lower Middle-Class lad (Empire Rats) with dreams. A class clown & solid "C" average, though in the 8th grade, attending Michigan Avenue Junior High, I received 6 "Ds" and trust me, enough horsing around. (Dr. Tait pulled me aside, made sure of that. Best principal ever. Coaches Sandberg & Gus Langley were equal in mentorship.)
● As a #Marshfield High School grad (Go Pirates!) in a class of 500+ I earned my bones, complete with Red Bellies & a varsity football letter, playing on this new stuff called 'astroturf' at Autzen Stadium. Bound for Notre Dame, the Vietnam war entering its 16th year and wanting to get out ahead of the draft, I enlisted in the United States Air Force.
● It took me twelve (12) years to earn my degrees while on active duty, attending classes on evenings & weekends, while holding down 60-hour-a-week jobs, raising a family, becoming a single parent, building two companies, the LARE CORP (manufacturing) the first historic replicas of the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii; and The Polar Corporation (retail), a food court ice cream store (dba) The Polar Bar, in a California Regional Mall.
● It's these tools & experiences I'm using to find ways to fund our state [without] raising your taxes. HELLO!
☆ Nominated for a White House Fellowship during the (Bush/Clinton) transition, I wrote a policy paper on a more efficient way to fund the US TREASURY.
● SEE KODELEMPIRE.COM
(NUCLEAR OPTION PAGE)
● Whether it's a ranch, a farm, a small business, or the State of Oregon, someone has to know how to make the numbers work. Wouldn't you agree?
● #TACTICAL #ADMINISTRATOR
● #STRATEGIC #INNOVATOR
● #MBA #WINS #THE #DAY!
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
"There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way." ~Christopher Morley
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS
KodelEmpire.com
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
HIRE
☆ Governor ● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
☆ Governor ● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
☆ Governor ● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
"Choose Integrity as Your True North and You'll Never Get Lost. "
~Steve William Laible
American Children's Author
#KEYNOTE #LISTENER
● #OREGON #NATIVE #SON (Ashland)
● #VETERAN
(22-years faithful, honorable, distinguished military service to our nation)
Special Duty TOP SECRET CLEARANCE Assignments:
▪︎ Joint Chiefs of Staff (Pentagon);
▪︎ Commander-in-Chief, Pacific (CINCPAC);
▪︎ COMMANDER, Civil Engineering Squadron;
▪︎ COMMANDER, Flight Operations (F-4 & F-16) Fighters;
▪︎ EXECUTIVE OFFICER, to three Base Commanders;
▪︎ SUPERINTENDENT of Publishing, HQ 15AF;
▪︎ CHIEF of ADMINISTRATION, USAF HONOR GUARD (WASH DC);
▪︎ AEROSPACE SUPPORT;
● LAUDED by top PENTAGON OFFICIALS as the "USAF OUTSTANDING ADMINISTRATOR OF THE YEAR-- WORLDWIDE."
▪︎ GROUP MOBILITY OFFICER (DESERT SHIELD/DESERT STORM); awarded but declined the Bronze Star device on principle.
● PRESIDENT, CALIFORNIA based PAROLE/CLEMENCY BOARD (George AFB)
● ADULT LITERACY TUTOR
Retired Mustang (Enlisted to Officer)
CAPTAIN / USAF
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
KODELEMPIRE.COM
● START WITH THESE PAGES
1. HOMEPAGE
2. SNAPSHOT
3. EXECUTIVE ORDERS
4. HOMELESSNESS CRISIS
5. #NUCLEAR #OPTION
6. RÉSUMÉ TO SERVE
7. PHOTO GALLERY
8. LOTTERY
#Resource #Engineering
High-velocity thunderous income stream
Enriching Oregonians, Communities & Programs
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
WHO?
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE ~ Governor
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE ~ Governor
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE ~ Governor
Family, Veteran, Author...
● Proud Oregon Native Son ● Single Dad ● Self-Funded Candidate ● Grassroots Campaign ● Hard-working, Middle-Class MAJORITY Agenda (MMA)
#FLAGSHIP (TOP PRIORITIES)
1. END PROPERTY TAXES (Seniors) then (All)
1a. Ending worry, fear, stress, "Lien Trap" threats
2. SOLVE THE HOMELESSNESS CRISIS by Executive Order:
2a. #Assimilation is a failed $2B+ mindset.
2b. I am reclaiming our Parks, our Neighborhoods, and our Downtowns of our Hometowns
3. END DMV TAGS/LICENSING FEES and ...
3a. Hunting fees
3b. Fishing fees
3c. Day-use fees
3d. Parking fees
3e. Camping fees
(In our state parks)
☆ Moreover, the loss of state revenue will be replaced by my #Resource #Engineering initiative.
☆ I have created a high-velocity thunderous income stream that will serve as an economic steam engine filling 10 #Designated #Reservoirs to capacity.
☆ Communities will want for nothing. No more tax levies. No more budget shortfalls. No more haircuts.
☆ No more 'passing the boot' with firemen walking in traffic, literally, with "boots" in hand, panhandling for change, fundraising for equipment.
☆ Dignity will be restored.
It's all quite elegant / beautiful.
■ SEE HOW OREGON CAN LEAD THE NATION WITH THE PROPER STEWARDSHIP with a Middle-Class MAJORITY Agenda (MMA)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS
KodelEmpire.com
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
● Lend me your oval graphite.
☆ ☆☆ HIRE ☆☆☆
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE, MBA ● CEO
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE, MBA ● CEO
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE, MBA ● CEO
Let's [Govern-OR] Together.
THANK YOU!
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE, MBA
☆ TACTICAL ADMINISTRATOR
☆ STRATEGIC INNOVATOR
Chief Executive Officer (CEO)
Change Agent
Exemplary Oregon Stewardship
FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK
Steve William Laible
Stevie Tenderheart Books
Award-winning Children's Author
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
☆ VOTE THE #BEST #POLICIES FOR THE WORLD YOU WANT TO LIVE IN.
● ESPECIALLY IF THEY ALIGN WITH THE FOND MEMORIES OF YOUR CHILDHOOD AND COMMUNITY.
● WE'VE ARGUABLY LOST OUR WAY.
☆ TO FIND OUR WAY OUT OF THE MULTITUDE OF DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT ARE CONTRIBUTING TO OUR DEVOLVING STATE OF AFFAIRS, IT BEGINS WITH PRINCIPLED LEADERSHIP TO RESTORE AN EVER-CHANGING, DYNAMIC, ROBUST AND REMARKABLE STATE.
STEP 1
"WE SIMPLE MUST STOP ANOINTING ARISTOCRATS, BIGOTS AND BULLIES, OBSTRUCTIONISTS AND CONSPIRACY THEORISTS AS OUR RULERS."
~ Steve William Laible
STEP 2
ELECT YOUR NEXT GOVERNOR
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
FORESHADOWING
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
"If you always do as you've always done you'll ALWAYS get what you've always got."
Make sense?
-- If you think that means the #incumbent or a Connecticut-born, California-raised baller, with #Nike tying his shoestrings, whose 'sole' focus is on a 3rd bridge, so be it.
-- If you think Tina best represents you, that's fine. But does she really have Oregonians' best interests at heart? Her 4 year resume would indicate otherwise.
-- If you think #Drazan is your best Republican choice, please reconsider.
● No #Republican deserves to manage.
¤ They cannot "lead." They lost that privilege to represent. They are "followers" plain & simple, subservient. They are compromised.
¤ Respectfully, Republicans of late have a sick, non-functioning legacy. They are destroying our nation, our relationships at home and abroad, and our good name. We are no longer that beacon on the hill.
Their agendas are destroying our QUALITY of LIFE.
It starts at the top and trickles down. President, Florida Governor, Texas Governor, Arkansas, Georgia, etc.
☆ It's time we turn the corner.
● National Democrats are equal is so many negative ways. Oregon has been saddled with two low vision Governors, back to back. Governor #KateBrown was born in #Spain, raised in #Minnesota. Governor Tina #Kotek was born & raised in #Pennsylvania.
■ For the love of Mike, going forward, at the very least, elect an #Oregon Native.
☆ Politicians in general are compromised. Far too many conflicts of interest. Nobody is looking out for the hard-working Middle-Class MAJORITY. Hello!
That ends now.
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
I've sat on the sidelines long enough.
It's time for a new mindset to enter these offices. Not just me, but you, too. AMERICA the BEAUTIFUL is counting on us.
Thank you for the privilege of your time.
HIRE
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
OREGON GOVERNOR
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
■ #BALLOTPEDIA LINK:
https://ballotpedia.org/Steve_William_Laible_(Oregon)
☆ SHARE POST ☆ SHARE POST ☆ SHARE POST
NIKE BACKED REPUBLICAN DUDLEY
#DISQUALIFYING #NIKE BACKED #DUDLEY
OMG! THE OREGON VOTERS' PAMPHLET JUST LANDED.
☆ #REPUBLICAN #CANDIDATE FOR #GOVERNOR #CHRIS #DUDLEY LISTED HIS {SOLE} LINE ITEM PREVIOUS GOVERNMENT EXPERIENCE AS ...
... WAIT FOR IT ...
▪︎ HE RAN FOR GOVERNOR IN 2010 (!!!)
Bloody hell. Are you kidding me!?
■ Think back, show of hands, what if you listed your experience on ANY job application, whether it was for flipping burgers or as the CEO of #Disney #Amazon #Uber #3M #Walmart #USSTEEL #GM #FORD #GE #MICROSOFT #APPLE #GOOGLE and you listed your {ONLY} experience as ONCE 'filling out an application" some sixteen {16} years earlier!
■ GOOD GRIEF. Come on man, Oregon does NOT need this kind of brain trust. This is as perfect an example of "Poor Judgment" as I've ever seen. For the love of Mike, leave the question blank. Run as an outsider or something.
#Chris this signals to me, not only do you lack good judgment, you have #NO #EXPERIENCE [AND NO CLUE] whatsoever how to led as #Governor. You’re NOT a Point Guard. Youre NOT a Shot Caller. You've only exposed yourself as a fool, a fraud, a glad-handing "B" List celebrity with a #DISQUALIFYING skill-set.
▪︎▪︎ Taking free money. Shaking hands, kissing babies, giving interviews! Filling out an application for Governor in 2010 DOES NOT QUALIFY YOU (!!!)
● Surely you've heard the phrase in life or in your NBA rebounding career,
"STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE."
So do that.
Give me a break, Chris!
● OREGON VOTERS: Chris might be a really nice guy, great dad, husband, family man, but the audacity, arrogance, and out-of-touch ignorance of this Connecticut-born, California-raised baller is beyond laughable.
▪︎ It's deafening!
▪︎ It's pathetic!
● Oregonians Deserve Better! (ODB)
Oregonians are smarter than this.
(NOT all of them, but most.)
Okay, many...
#ChrisDudley
#philknight
#Republican
#Governor
#Joke
#christineDrazan
#Drazan
#republican
#democrat
#independent
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆☆☆☆☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
● Steve William Laible
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
☆ FOR GOVERNOR ☆
● TACTICAL ADMINISTRATOR
● STRATEGIC INNOVATOR
VETERAN
Retired Mustang
(Enlisted to Officer)
CAPTAIN/USAF
Oregon Native Son (Ashland)
Dark Horse Candidate
#Unbridled #Unbought #Unbroken
☆ CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS ☆
KodelEmpire.com
"Click" Ballotpedia Website:
EGO CENTRIC
SOCIAL MEDIA CAPTION
If an effort to pander to and win the votes from lost Oregon Redcoats wandering aimlessly amongst the rubble of ruins, those still in love with their spiritual leader and MAGA IDEALS, I offer the following promises:
Oregon is a disaster, folks. It’s damp, it’s green, and it doesn't have nearly enough of my name on it. When I'm Governor, we’re going to fix the 'Nature' problem with a lot of gold paint and some very expensive signage. If you want a Governor who thinks 'modesty' is a sign of weakness, vote Laible. #LaibleizedOregon #GoldStandardGov
☆ EXCLUSIVE ☆
🔴 My Dear Fellow Redcoats:
The Laible-Gold Standard for Oregon! 🔴
Sponsored by
KodelEmpire.com
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE
Dear Patriotic Oregons and MAGA Patriots,
When elected as your next Governor, I promise you total, uninterrupted, and gold-plated greatness! We are going to make Oregon the envy of every state that doesn't have a giant gold-plated mansion.
I’m announcing a series of beautiful, massive, and completely sensible infrastructure updates to truly Make Oregon Great Again:
Steve William Laible-Crater Lake: Why should a lake just sit there looking blue and natural? We’re going to rename it and drape the entire caldera in gleaming gold leaf. I will also install a giant golden elevator down to the water, because walking down the Cleetwood Cove Trail is for losers.
The Steve William Laible-Autzen Stadium Arch: We are building a magnificent, 400-foot-tall archway spanning the entrance of Autzen Stadium, adorned with my name in diamond-encrusted lettering.
The Kotek-Laible East Wing Demolition: The current Capitol building and Mahonia Hall are simply too small for my ego. I will demolish them both and build a $5 Billion golden palace with a dedicated, temperature-controlled loading dock to receive "TOP SECRET" state secrets.
The Steve William Laible-Gorge & Columbia River: We are going to build a massive, beautiful wall along the gorge to keep the wind out and control the flow of the Columbia River with golden valves.
I will never lie to you, and I promise that my name will be printed on the front of every Oregon driver's license and hunting permit in a beautiful, bold 72-point font.
God bless Oregon, and God bless the Kodel Empire!
☆☆☆☆☆ FUTHERMORE ☆☆☆☆☆
1. The Laible-ized Moda Center & The Return of Jantzen Beach
The days of the "Rose Garden" are over—it’s just too soft. From now on, the home of the Trail Blazers is the Laible-Moda Gold Palace. Two Basketballs in play will change the game. 🏀 🏀
Even better, I'm bringing back Jantzen Beach, but with a twist. The old amusement park is being rebuilt as a "Productivity Center." Every child 10 and older will be drafted into the Steve William Laible Junior Labor Corps, where they will build character by picking strawberries and string beans all summer long. No more unsupervised mischievous behavior. After all, child labor builds character—and cheaper produce! It's my answer to the #Tariffs
2. The Steve William Laible Rose Parade
The Portland Rose Festival is getting a much-needed ego boost. We’re replacing the floats with giant, moving golden statues of my face and 6'5" 290lb Adonis frame. The traditional floral scents will be replaced by the smell of money, and every marching band will be required to play only one song: my personal campaign anthem, on an infinite loop.
A thumping 4/4 marching beat featuring blaring trumpets and a booming bass drum. Every 16 bars, the entire brass section halts to chant the words:
"L-A-I-B-L-E! Gold for you and gold for me!"
You can't stop the Laible, once the gold is laid down!
We're putting a crown on every single small town!
From the river to the ridge, we’re gonna build a massive bridge!
Oh, you can't stop the Laible!
I painted hills, I claimed the streams...
I gave you back your childhood dreams...
And more, much more than this...
I made the Gorge climate-controlled, I did it my way!
The band plays a dizzying, upbeat tempo while the drum major twirls a gold-plated baton. The lyrics constantly remind Oregonians that their favorite landmarks are now mine.
A high-speed, accordion-and-tuba-heavy romp that replaces "Let 'er Buck" at the Pendleton Round-Up. It’s so fast and loud that people won't even realize they're marching in circles, paying homage to Eastern Oregon heritage while turning it entirely into a tribute to me.
I want to emphasize my military background and ensures every student at #Marshfield PS 1 through PS 400+ learns MY name ● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE the greatest Governor the world has ever seen, all throughout humanity. Kids will learn my name, ● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE before they learn basic math.
3. Laible-School System (All Hail Marshfield PS) GO PIRATES!
Why should kids have creative names for their schools & mascots when I can streamline the whole system? Every K-12 school in Oregon will be renamed in honor of my alma mater.
Marshfield PS 1 (Coos Bay)
Marshfield PS 2 (Greater Eugene)
Marshfield PS 3 (Grants Pass)
Marshfield PS 4 (Medford)
Marshfield PS 5 (Greater Portland)
Marshfield PS 6 (Brookings)
Marshfield PS 7 (Salem)
Marshfield PS 8 (Klamath Falls)
Marshfield PS 9 (Ashland)
Marshfield PS 10 (BURNS) ...
Even better, Nike is being rebranded as the Laible-Swoosh Empire, and every pair of running shoes sold GLOBALLY, will have my face printed on the tongues, while Dudley can take up space on the far-right soles, so you can literally walk in my footsteps over Dudley (who as a Connecticut-born, California-raised, baller, has 000.ZERO.000 [government experience], including 000.ZERO.000 armed forces experience, he stated as much in the Voters' pamphlet, save his once running for Governor sixteen years ago (2010). Filling out an application is NOT experience. Nor is taking FREE money from a #BILLIONAIRE, nor is glad-handing or kissing babies. Good grief!
Once a rebounder always a rebounder.
4. The Laibleing Initiative & Laible-Fishies
Who needs to go crabbing when you can go Laibleing? All crabbing and clamming on the coast will be renamed to honor the great leadership of the Kodel Empire som, ● STEVEWILLIAMLAIBLE.
Meanwhile, the natural world is getting a massive rebrand to align with my administration:
Salmon and Rainbow Trout: Now legally known as Laible-Fishies.
The Spotted Owl: Renamed to the Laible-Backed Winged Thang. Because regular names are too complex for our state's wildlife.
🎯 Hashtags
#LaibleForEverything
#LaibleFishies
#MarshfieldPS1
#SteveTakesTheState
Let me crank the absurdity up to eleven. I want the #Oregon #Trail to be called the "#Steve #William #Laible trail" a brand of total state domination, I need to make sure every corner of Oregon—from the high desert to the rocky coast—is sufficiently "Laible-ized."
1. The Laible-Round-Up (Pendleton)
We are retiring the "Let ’er Buck" slogan because, frankly, it’s not prestigious enough. From now on, it’s the Steve William Laible-Round-Up. I’m replacing the traditional dirt floor with custom-woven, gold-flecked equestrian carpeting. Every bull will be required to wear a Laible-branded necktie, and the "Westward Ho!" parade will consist entirely of 500 identical gold-plated carriages carrying 500 identical portraits of me.
2. The Vertical Laible-Lights (The Coast)
Why have a rotating lighthouse beam when you can have a permanent, vertical pillar of Laible-Light! I will retrofit every lighthouse from Heceta Head to Yaquina Bay with high-intensity, gold-tinted led lasers that shoot 50 miles into the atmosphere. These beams will pulse in Morse code, constantly broadcasting my latest tweets to the passing ships and any extraterrestrials* looking for a strong leader. My name will be etched into the side of each tower in glowing neon, visible from space. *When they arrive and say, " Take me to your leader," Salem or Bust.
3. The Laible-Gorge & "The Wall" (Cascade Locks)
The Columbia River Gorge is nice, but it’s too windy. It’s messy. As Governor, I will enclose the Laible-Gorge in a massive, climate-controlled glass dome. Inside, the temperature will be a perfect 72°F year-round. I will also build a "Beautiful Wall" across the river at Bonneville—not for security, but just to act as a massive IMAX screen playing my inauguration speech on a 24/7 loop for the salmon.
4. The Steve William Laible-Painted Hills
The current "Painted Hills" are a bit dull, don't you think? Earth tones are for losers. I’m sending in a team to spray-paint the hills with 24-karat gold metallic flake and "Laible Purple & Gold (MHS)." It’s going to be a masterpiece. We’ll also install a massive, gold-plated gift shop at the summit of every hill that sells only one thing: "Laible-Gravel" (it's just regular rocks, but they cost $400 a bag).
5. The Laible-Vortex (Gold Hill)
I’m taking over the #Oregon #Vortex and renaming it the Steve William Laible-Vortex of Truth. In my vortex, the laws of physics don't apply—just like my campaign promises! Gravity will be adjusted so that everyone naturally leans toward the "Right" (physically and politically). It will be the only place in the world where the height of the national debt actually appears to be shrinking the closer you get to my signature.
______________________________________
SEE! I CAN PIVOT. KodelEmpire.com
Let's get back to the "Laible-izing" of Oregon with the heavy hitters. Going full "Strongman Ego" vibe, I need to claim the history and the water.
Here are four more gold-plated, ego-driven upgrades for my campaign:
1. The Steve William Laible Pioneer Super-Highway (formerly the Oregon Trail)
Why honor a bunch of old people in dusty caravan Schooner wagons when you can honor the man leading the state today? We are paving the entire Oregon Trail in "Laible-Gold" asphalt. Every five miles, there will be a rest stop featuring a life-sized bronze statue of me helping a pioneer family cross a river. We’re also replacing the "You have died of dysentery" message in the old game with "You have failed to vote for Laible"—which is a much more tragic fate.
2. The Steve William Laible Running River Water Park (formerly the Rogue River)
The "Rogue" River sounds like it’s out of control. It’s "nasty." It’s "disloyal." From now on, it’s the Steve William Laible Running River Water Park. I’m installing giant underwater fans to make the water flow faster and more "aggressively" toward the ocean. I’ll also replace the salmon with "Goldfish"—actual 14-karat gold mechanical fish that jump on command whenever I drive by in my gold-plated jet boat.
JET BOAT OPERATORS, READY YOUR ENGINES AND GUESTS, EQUIP YOUR BOATS WITH MY GOLDEN ROD NETS. KEEP WHAT YOU CAPTURE. GREAT FOR TOURISM.
3. The Laible-Luster Haystack Rock (Cannon Beach)
That big rock at Cannon Beach? Too grey. Too many birds. I’m going to have the whole thing sandblasted and coated in a high-gloss, reflective Laible-Chrome. It will act as a giant mirror so the ocean can finally see how great Oregon looks with me in charge. Also, the puffins are being evicted and replaced with trained parrots that squawk "Laible for Leader!" at the tourists.
4. The Steve William Laible-Hood (Mount Hood)
Mount Rushmore is so last century. Mount Hood is a "low-energy" mountain. We’re going to build a massive, 200-foot-tall golden crown and place it right on the peak. It’ll be the Laible-Hood. I’ll also install a series of high-powered stadium lights that project my silhouette onto the clouds every night, so even when it’s raining, you know I’m watching over you.
5. The Laible-Mansion 2.0 (The Whole State)
Actually, let’s just declare the state borders of Oregon to be the official walls of my "Governor’s Estate." I’ll put a "Laible Property: No Trespassing (Unless You Voted For Me)" sign at every border crossing. If you’re entering from Washington or California, you have to pay a "Laible-Look-See" Tax just for the privilege of seeing my magnificent golden landmarks.
Updated Hashtags
#TheLaibleTrail (Take that, pioneers!)
#GoldRiverLaible
#OregonInLaibleRed
#SteveTakesTheState
Laible Luxury Rapids
KodelEmpire.com
● STEVE WILLIAM LAIBLE